Call mee: Kim-Alexis HERE Sex: Female D.o.b: 5-11-91 Reppin: Pfft I live in my own world. Luv'n: Michael. Hahah. Not only him but I like ice cream, chocolate muffins, bagels, a lot of pastries, reading, writing, sleeping, drawing, uhm... procrastinating, hanging out with my dear friends and family, and doing unrelated school work. Hate'n Working on honors and AP stuff... spiders, bugs-any bugs because even a butterfly scares me.
So yeah I haven't ranted in awhile. I don't know. This is crap. I don't know if I was blunt or vague about how I felt but he didn't understand. He didn't need to understand nor did he need to criticize it. All I know was that I felt betrayed. I don't hate the person nor do I love them. I don't care if that person is family either. If I feel betrayed, I feel betrayed. I was back stabbed, and it wasn't because of money or that crap. That person placed me into the spotlight and stripped me of my dignity. Yet, he cannot understand that. He cannot understand the shame I feel, and still he criticized it. I tell him if you were in my situation you'd understand. He says he would've handled it differently because two people cannot be similar. The thing is... how would he know as well? Did he grow up in the same family with the same rules? Did he grow up feeling spite? Did he grow up noticing the seeds of hate and pride being sewed into the children of the family? No. But I am not saying I am right either. It would be wrong of me to say that he would be exactly like me. Yet I am not wrong. I believe that he has no right to place his opinion on such situation for he cannot comprehend the way I feel. He has no right to say that because he was not directly attacked by a member of his kin. I just want him to know that I cannot give my trust nor my love to the person, but regardless I will help that person when in time of need. That's only the point I want him to get.
Okay, I swear I keep forgetting the list and all that stuff. SOOOO I shall post a list of the characters/buildings/everything else for the artists
Complete: Almost:
Main Characters Jessica Dancel Shikaru Inouye Rein A. Sid Ryan Yami
Other Characters Jessica's Family -Father -Mother -Sister -Brother Shikaru's Family - - - Rein's Family -Father -Mother Ryan's Family - - - Teachers (will be named once writers will get the story done) -Teacher1 -Teacher2 -Teacher3 Students -Student1 -Student2 -Student3 -Student4 -Student5 -Student6 Nobles -Noble1 -Noble2 -Noble3 -Noble4 Royal Family - - - - "Bad Guys" (yet to be named by Elaine K) - -
Symbols/Family Crest -Jessica's Family -Shikaru's Family -Rein's Family -Ryan's Family -Nobles (mentioned) -Royal Family -
I probably might be exaggerating, possibly. I don't know really. I'm just going back and forth, and I'm probably worrying myself over nothing like I always do. Though, I can't help but worry myself about the little things. It's like the little things help make up the big things; and if the little things are horrible, then the big thing will be horrible too. Maybe I'm like stressing out so much to the point where I get all edgy and all moody. Maybe it's because I just feel apathetic... or so what I think. I don't know anymore. I just want to like take some nerf gun and shoot my head. (Nerf guns dun kill but they do hurt at times) So yeah, it brings me to this incomprehensible decision. It's only that because I CAN'T MAKE UP MY DAMN MIND. Like, I'm just uneasy. I can't do stuff for other people if I feel uneasy.
I just know people will wonder what the fuck I'm talking about. You know, it's weird. Like, I don't want to be blunt because I like beating around the bush. Get what I mean? If I was blunt, then I'd end up being brutally honest. Though, that's besides the point. The point I'm making is never going to appear because I'm going overemotional possibly because of some shitty thing. The shitty thing most likely has to deal with my indecisiveness where I can't have this straightforward thought process. My mind completely shuts down when having a discussion or something.
Though, I must be panicking over nothing. I mean, panicking over nothing happens to appear as ridiculous. So I must be ridiculous for panicking. UGH I AM MENTALLY DISTRESSED.
FUCK LIFE RIGHT NOW. I'm fucking screwed right now.
"I feel as though I can't trust anyone. They don't know it. They don't notice it. They just slowly break down my trust, my character.
I may appear as though I don't mind. Those "jokes" simply don't bug me. Surely, even ones taking it so far doesn't fucking bother me at all. No fucking way it hurts my damn self.
I certainly don't torment myself every fucking day.
Why such harsh language? Because everyday I remind myself why I hate life.
There certainly isn't a friend I actually want to be here.
All of them seem dead to me.
They may be moving, breathing, and talking; but in my eyes...
THEY ARE LIFELESS CORPSES THAT SHOT DOWN MY TRUST.
So, why do I rant about this crap? Simply, to speak these words from where I believe it's called "THE HEART". That stupid instrument.
Well, tracking back to when I said everyone is dead in my eyes.
They're not only dead. They're just buried in my graveyard-"THE HEART"-my heart.
Though, it's not a dreary graveyard. It's beautiful in fact. I mean, they're just underground. They can't hurt me because they're dead-living corpses. So, they can't hurt me."
